There is truly no greater pleasure – not picking dead skin, nor popping a whitehead, or even messy sex with an industrial keg of Nutella (imagine not even that!) – that can sate the sheer palpable delight of hearing the distant tantrums of remain cry-babies; tears welling, hands to ears, screeching NO NO NO, rattles slammed, as froth foams from their smug mouths and drips deliciously into their meat free cappuccinos or whatever it is these spoilt babies assault their digestive tracts with.
I am of course referring to the metropolitan liberals in the capital and the provinces (in Manchester we call brain dead central the Northern Quarter and Chorlton, you’ll have your own areas) that seem intent on being perpetually stupid all of the time – and these last few days they’ve been screeching louder than ever. Hilarious. And please don’t stop, I’m begging, you’re a continual source of amusement, a renaissance of British comedy.
And then we have the cultural establishment and wealthy celebrities. JK Rowling cried, “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted magic more” and “Goodbye, UK”. Singer Lily Allen tweeted: “Well millennials. We’re really really fucked”. Marrianne Faithful: “We’re back to where we used to be, the right-wing racist Little England, those dreadful people, they’ve always been there.” Presumably she’s addressing the majority that voted out. Third-rate rock star Johnny Marr was particularly elitist: “No one ever said that the majority knew what they were doing”. And watching smug prat Will Self throw a hissy fit on Channel 4 news with ‘a person of colour’ and leaver Dreda was deliciously satisfying. Expect the media in the coming weeks to be churning out reports about racist abuse to immigrants, when the reality is clearly much different.
The ultimate irony is, of course, that the educated liberal left – those on the side of ‘people of colour’, immigrants, the ordinary folk, the working class or whatever you prefer to call them; are actually trying to bully and cajole the peasants into voting for the expressed wishes of most of the Conservative party and indeed all established political parties, including the House of Commons and Lords and the entirety of big business and banks. Funny that.